ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Developing advanced communication skills is crucial for effective mentoring. Focus on building rapport, asking insightful questions, and providing constructive advice to create a supportive and impactful mentoring relationship. Below, you’ll find detailed topics to enhance these skills.

COMMUNICATION 101

Communication is a critical skill in mentoring relationships. Communication can be broken down in two basic components:

RECEIVING MESSAGES

What is my mentee saying? How are they saying it?

SENDING MESSAGES

How can I provide insight and support?

Remember that communication is also about word choice, tone, and body language – verbal and non-verbal communication. Verbal communication is the use of sounds or words to express your ideas. Non-verbal communication doesn’t use spoken language. It includes eye contact, tone of voice, body language and facial expressions.

BUILDING RAPPORT

First impressions are important, and your rapport at the beginning will set the tone of every other conversation.

One way to build rapport is by mentioning the confidentiality of all communication between the triad. This will build trust as a starting point to show your mentees that they can count on you.

Another way is to introduce yourself by telling your story (why you value mentoring, your experience as a mentee, etc.), which usually makes mentees more comfortable sharing their own stories with you. However, when done in excess this shifts the focus of the meeting away from the mentee; so use with intention.

ASKING QUESTIONS

As with all new relationships, you may find communication with your mentee flows freely from the start, or you may find it needs to be coaxed along until you find common ground.

The best way to start is to ask questions, be they about career plans, educational and work experience, perspectives on work, interests, career values, skills, or talents.

Questions to ask include:

  • What courses are you taking this semester?
  • Which courses do you enjoy most?
  • What work or volunteer experience do you have so far?
  • Are you taking part in a co-op or other work experience program?
  • What career goals are you thinking about?
  • What are your interests

QUALITY OF QUESTIONS

The quality of mentoring is largely determined by the quality of the questions you ask. As a mentor, your primary goal is to gather information that will allow you to effectively guide your mentee. Along with basic facts, you need to uncover your mentee’s attitudes and opinions—the things that are important to them. To gather this information, you must ask questions and listen. The information they provide will allow you to assess their goals and direct a strategy to achieve them.

We learned that closed-ended questions are ineffective for getting your mentee to open up. By asking open-ended questions, you can gather more information about their needs, thoughts, and opinions. The mentee’s response also provides new information for your next question.

People generally prefer talking to listening, and the more you listen, the more your mentees will open up and share with you. People remember far more of what they say and discover for themselves than what they are told by others.

TYPES OF QUESTIONS

These techniques for drawing people out and encouraging them to talk about themselves are invaluable assets. The more you practice, the smoother and more comfortable these techniques will become.

There are various types of questions we can use to help our mentees identify clear goals. Here are some examples for each type of question that can be used to help set a goal:

  • Open: “What are your career aspirations?” or “What about this goal is important to you?”
  • Closed: These are the questions that require a “yes” or “no” answer and are useful for determining facts. They used be used with care as too many closed-ended questions may leave the mentee with feelings of being interrogated.
  • Direct: “How long will it take for you to realistically complete this step?” or “When can I check-in with you before our next meeting?”
  • Reflective: “How do you feel about your progress so far?”
  • Hypothetical: “If you can predict any obstacles that might prevent you from completing your goal, what would they be and how can you overcome them?
  • Clarifying: “Can you explain what you mean by that?”
  • Probing: “What steps do you think you need to take to achieve this goal?”

OFFERING ADVICE AND SUGGESTIONS

It helps to be clear about your goal in giving feedback – how do you intend for your mentee to act on your advice?

For example, your goal in offering a specific suggestion may be to:

  • Encourage a new activity, approach, or attitude.
  • Help your mentee change a behaviour.
  • Persuade your mentee to consider a problem or issue.
  • Get your mentee to consider a new perspective on a specific issue.

Once you have determined why you are offering a suggestion, you can use several techniques listed below to help your mentee take action.

Turn suggestions into steps

When suggesting a specific course of action, it is helpful to work with your mentee on identifying steps to make it happen.

For example, if you suggest that your mentee volunteer at an upcoming industry event, your mentee may have to:

  1. Talk to the volunteer organizer.
  2. Fill out an application and/or submit a resume and cover letter.
  3. Attend an orientation session.
  4. Commit to a specific task and organize their schedule in order to be available for the event.
  5. Follow through with the commitment

Provide enough information

For many mentors, professional etiquette comes so naturally they take it for granted. For students who haven’t had the opportunity to observe how things are done on the job, contacting someone or attending a meeting may present daunting hurdles.

This is why it is important to provide your mentee with enough information to act on your advice.

For example, if you suggest that they contact a specific person, you may also want to give or direct your mentee to the email addresses, phone numbers, or websites they will need. You may also offer to review a draft introductory email prepared by your mentee.

Consider “What if…”

Another useful way to offer advice is to ask “What if…” questions. Questions such as “What if you approached the situation like this…” or, “What might happen if you volunteered for…” can open a dialogue that helps mentees arrive at conclusions themselves. When mentees make realizations on their own, they are more likely to act on them.

Other effective phrases include:

  • What would happen if…
  • How would you feel if…
  • What would be another approach to…
  • What other ways could you…

Ask questions to spark action

Assist your mentee in moving toward action by asking questions such as “Where do you think you could find this information?” and “What date will you do this by?”

Offer constructive feedback

To avoid making your mentee feel defensive, offer some positive feedback first. Then address what he or she needs to work on and conclude with more positive feedback.

Follow up and debrief

Follow up by asking your mentee how they have acted on your advice. If they did not take action, talk about it.

Discuss your relationship to find out what works and what doesn’t. When you do this, try to accept your mentee’s feedback in the same, non-defensive way you would like your own feedback to be accepted.

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